Today was a good wednesday

The last couple weeks were as good as a pile of shit on a hot summer day.

Failed my physics exam...great. And because of it I could quite possibly loose my acceptance to Carleton, scholarship, and spot in rez.

So after much crying, wallowing, and deliberation, I've decided that I don't really care anymore, and I just might take another year off. Not that I'm a quitter -because I AM NOT A QUITTER- just that I'm so fucking exhausted with how I've been stressing over things like school and work. I just need to relax for once and stop expecting so much from myself. And I don't know if my head will be on straight by the time September rolls along...

So now my options are:
(no matter what I have to upgrade my physics mark in summer school, no exception)

-IF I DO keep my acceptance
-go to university in the Fall. Spend ALL the money I JUST worked my ass of for.
-defer ...[next point]

-IF I LOOSE my acceptance
- work some more, travel some more, make some art, nothing wrong with that. Atleast my marks/portfolio will be ready to hand in.

My life has been consumed by work, hence my shit physics mark. That being said, I don't think the transition from a stressful full-time job to stressful full-time student is the greatest way to go when it comes to keeping my sanity. So I think the latter of the two is the safest.
I really don't mind waiting another year. Just thinking about it eases some of the kinks in my back. Next year, I'll have more money, all of my marks will be ready to hand in, my portfolio will be better...I have nothing to loose. I think taking physics online made up for all of the stress I missed out on for not going back to highschool, that's how bad it was. The thought of even going into first year almost seems ridiculous.

The one thing I always need to keep in mind is that I'm only 18.